


When things were better

by SpicyBiscuit



Series: Nygmobblepot AUs [2]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Apologies, Confessions, Going back in time, Inspired by Fanart, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sad Oswald Cobblepot, Season 2 Ed, Season 5 Oswald, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 05, Self-Doubt, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24491200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpicyBiscuit/pseuds/SpicyBiscuit
Summary: Oswald wakes up back when things between him and Ed were better, before he ruined it with his insecurity and jealousy. But most of all his selfishness.He wants to make it right this time.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Series: Nygmobblepot AUs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1747396
Comments: 5
Kudos: 70





	When things were better

**Author's Note:**

> -Inspired by Yanderebeats art work on instgram involving season 1 Oswald and season 5 Oswald switching places. But this one is Oswald going back to season 2.

Oswald had defended Gotham from those who seeked to destroy it. He had lost an eye for his home, but he had no regrets. Gotham was the city he was born and raised in, and the city he had ruled as kingpin of the underworld. He wasn't going to abandon it now. As he said before, he was Gotham's future, it needed him. And when she finally had needed him to fight for her he was there. 

Him and Ed had become friends again afterwards, but Oswald felt deep inside that their relationship would never be the same as it was. He was scared of being betrayed or abandoned again by the one man he cared for. Sometimes he wished he could go back to when things were better. A time where Ed would smile at him and they wouldn't argue as bad. A time when they would do anything for the other, when they were still best friends. A time where they wouldn't be holding a knife to eachother's back as they hugged for the first time in a over a year. 

Ed looked at him differently now. He was glad there was no more cold glares and anger burning in his eyes, but the look of -whatever it was- was lost. And Oswald missed it. He wasn't even sure how he missed a look. He often found himself longing for the good days back. Yes, he was proud of how far they had come on their journey, but they had spent over a year in a petty feud as if everything they went through before that had never happened. He found himself missing Ed's company, and even his small apartment with the constant neon green glow. He missed the nights of singing and playing piano together, or eating while enjoying eachother's company. Oswald had always hoped for a friend to do these things with, and now he finally had it. But there was one other thing he missed, something that Ed didn't know that he knew. He wasn't dumb. When Ed thought Oswald was asleep he would climb into bed beside him and sleep there, using the fact that he was an early riser to his advantage. He never overstepped boundaries, and Oswald found comfort in knowing someone he trusted was beside him at night.

But even those memories stung. Ed had saved his life and became his best friend, and what did Oswald do? Hurt him out of fear of being abandoned, and his own insecure foolishness. As much as he found Isabella suspicious, he knew Ed was right about how he should've sacrificed his own happiness for Ed's. 

Oswald had a hard time sleeping that night, due to the injury in his left eye. He was given pain killers, but the bandages were uncomfortable and although the pain was reduced to a dull ache, he hated how it felt inside his socket. Lee told him that once reunification was finished, he would have to have the entire eye removed. He couldn't stop thinking about how Ed felt guilty over it. Oswald willingly put himself at risk for him, loosing his eye in the process, but didn't feel any regret. He'd take that grenade again if it meant Ed was ok. His reaction made Oswald hopeful for their future, but who knew what it would really hold for them. 

He eventually drifted off to the memories of a better time, as exhaustion took over.

_____

As Oswald woke up and opened his eyes tiredly, alarm bells immediately began ringing in his head. There was a familiar smell that hit his nose, a mix of another person's house and fresh cooking. He heard a piano being played somewhere, but his eyes were still slightly blurry as he tried to adjust to the dark. Through the blur he could see an obnoxiously bright green glow filling the room. His brain quickly pieced together where he was from his other senses, and found his heart fluttering as he realised where he was. But...surely he couldn't be. It had been at least a year since he had been here, and it was probably destroyed during the destruction of Gotham. Perhaps it was a dream. A dream set in a time when things were better between him and his old friend, before Oswald had ruined it with his insecurities and selfish jealousy. There was nothing he wanted more than for them to go back to how it was when Ed had welcomed him into his home after saving his life. 

"Ed?" Oswald called uncertainly, rubbing his left eye to try and get it to clear up. He was surprised to find both eyes working, having spent hours adjusting to the blindness in his right from the injury. The piano stopped, and he heard footsteps coming towards him before someone sat on the bed.

"Mr. Pen- Oswald, you're awake. Are you feeling any better?" Ed's voice calmed him as his eyes came into focus. There he was. Ed before he became the Riddler. Ed who smiled at him and helped him through his grief and depression. Ed who would have done anything for him, and who Oswald would literallly kill for. He could cry.

"Is...Is this a dream?" Oswald mumbled as he slowly shifted himself into a sitting position. Ed frowned and tilted his head.

"I don't think so. Are you experiencing any delirium? Dizziness?" He pushed himself off the bed and went to the kitchen area, grabbing a glass and filling it with water. Oswald watched as he paused and mumbled to himself, before grabbing a paper straw and walking back over. He offered him the glass, staring at him in concern.

"Thank you" Silently, he took the drink and sipped a bit before holding it in his hands. He focused on the cool glass against his skin, as he tried to ignore the guilt burning up inside him, and his heart crying out again. Tears burned his eyes as he stared at his reflection in the water. 

"Do you hate me?" The whisper escaped his lips so silently that he wasn't sure if he had even heard it himself. His friend's head whipped up to look at him, eyes wide as he sat back on the bed and shook his head.

"No! Of course not, I could never hate you Oswald!"

 _i could never hate you_. Oh how we wished that were true.

"Where did this come from? Di-did I do something?"

"Ed, no it's me...I...I...um..." Oswald stared at his hands, not knowing what to say. Was this a dream, or was life giving him a second chance? Would apologising for events that hadn't even happened yet mess with the future? He glanced up at Ed, who just stared back concerned. He had to do it. Taking a deep breath, he finally poured out what he had wanted to tell Ed for the last year.

"I was selfish, and cruel, and I don't even expect you to forgive me. I know you loved her, and I so selfishly took that away. You were the only one that was ever nice to me because you liked me too, besides my mother. So when you began spending less and less time at home I panicked, because I couldn't loose you too. You know me, I'm not good with emotions" He smiled sadly, still skipping around the main reason he had killed her, "So I got rid of the thing keeping you from me to satisfy my own needs, not thinking about how it would hurt you. Really...I've always had a fear of abandonment. And that was the only way I knew how to stop you from going"

Ed stared at him with a mix of confusion and sadness on his face, and Oswald continued with a sigh. "I...I wanted you to need me like I needed you. I wanted you to rely on me and only me, because I was scared if you had someone else you would realise I wasn't good enough, and leave me alone again. But I still need you Ed. You're my only true friend, and the only one I trust. A-and...and I never s-sto...stopped..." 

His voice shook as tears fell down his face, the words dying on his tongue as he began to cry. Ed said nothing immediately as he gently pulled his friend into a hug, and Oswald buried his face in his shoulder. He stroked his hair, running his fingers through the dark strands as he rocked him. "It's ok, Ozzie" he whispered. 

"I'm so sorry" He sobbed, looking up again, and saw that look in his eyes. The look he longed for ever since Ed swore vengeance on him. And he couldn't take it. The words slipped out as a choked sob "I love you"

His friend paused briefly as he heard those three words, and his heart skipped a beat.

Oswald sobbed gently, looking at the man he loved. He never got to express his feelings properly, but now he had the chance he was going to let it out, "I love you Ed, I never stopped and never will. I love you so much" 

Instead of replying, Ed pulled him closer and quickly leaned down, kissing Oswald. His hands moved to his cheeks as he cupped Oswald's face gently, and the two kissed eachother until Oswald's crying has ceased. When they pulled away, Ed wiped the tears from the others face and smiled. "I love you too, Oswald. Ever since we first met I loved you. And I forgive you"

Oswald began to cry again happily, this time a huge smile appearing on his face. He realised what the look he longed for, the look he so desperately desired really was.

Love.


End file.
